• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Disclaimer
  • Contact

Shout Me Crunch

Smart Guide for your Lifestyle

  • External links policy
  • Guest Post Instructions
  • Partnerships
  • Shortcode Button Sample
  • Write For Us
You are here: Home / Education / Your Checklist for Things to Discuss Before Marriage
before marriage

Your Checklist for Things to Discuss Before Marriage

Contents

  • Kids
  • Religion
  • Debt
  • Residence
  • Infertility
  • Space
  • Handling the Chores
  • Secrets
  • Future Plans
  • Conclusion

You must be sure about your decision before you get married. In a relationship, you have negotiables and non-negotiables.

In some aspects, you can sort of reach a compromise in order to retain the peace in your connection with your spouse and maintain the marriage. But there are also things that you both have to agree upon. If someone does not comply, your marriage will, one way or another, falter.

You must create a checklist that you need to ask yourself and your partner before marriage. Be sure to write them down, take a seat with your future husband or wife, and seriously talk about it.

before marriage

Kids

The first and foremost topic that you should ask yourselves about is children. Not all people want to have kids after they get married.

In a survey published on NYTimes.com with 1858 respondents with a mix of men and women ages 20 to 45, 30% said that they have no desire for children. Some young adults –36% — said that they want more leisure time. Other eye-opening reasons include worrying about the economy, prioritizing careers, and not having enough money for child care or college.

You both have to be clear on this topic. You cannot have gray areas with this discussion. Either you want to, or you do not want to. This can be one of the non-negotiables that we talked about. If your partner does not want to have kids, chances are, five years or ten years down the line, he still will not want to have children.

Religion

Another issue that should be raised prior to marriage is religion. Some people are deeply defined by their religious beliefs. This goes for all types of religions.

The discussion will be more complicated if both of you have different faiths. Perhaps one wants to have a wedding this way, while the other wants to have it that way. It even gets more complex when you have kids. If you want to follow a set of traditions based on your philosophies, you must talk about it before marriage.

Debt

Another topic that you need to talk about is debt. Have you seen movies wherein you promise to each other that you will stay together in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer? Well, if you do not settle your debt individually and as a couple, you will definitely be poorer in the future.

What constitutes debt, and will you owe your spouse’s debt? It mostly depends on where you live. Different states have different laws about it. Most states have “common law” property rules, as indicated in Nolo.com. This means that the debt of one is his debt alone. This is so unless the debt was used to take care of a family need like food, shelter, etc.

Generally, if your partner has a debt, he or you have to pay for it. It just depends on how much of the debt you want to shoulder. Getting married is all about helping each other. But if the debt is not clear to you before marriage, you might feel blindsided when you find out about it after getting married.

Residence

Where you will live after marriage can be a hot issue for some couples. This is especially true when you work in different states, or your spouse wants to live near his parents’ house.

For people working in different areas, you have various options. You can opt for a long-distance relationship where you or your spouse can go home during the weekends.

You can also move in with him and find a job near your future home. This can be very difficult for those who already have established careers. If work is more important to you than your partner, then you better rethink your plans to get married to this person.

What if your partner wants to live near his parents’ home? Well, it depends. If it will be a different house from theirs, it is generally acceptable. But if you are going to live with his parents, it can be very tough at times. First of all, it is not your home. You will need to follow the parents’ rules. And they can often infuse their own opinions in leading your lives and disciplining your children.

What if his parents are already old and they need someone to be living with them? You have to talk about it. If it is okay with you, then you can go right ahead and stay together in their home. But if not, you should make compromises and finalize them before marriage.

Infertility

This can be a very sensitive topic for some couples. People would generally have no idea if they are fertile or not. You will only find out after years of marriage without getting pregnant. Either one or both of you may have a health condition that needs to be treated.

But some are already handling current disorders that make them infertile. Some illnesses may cause low sperm count or irregular production of egg cells.

If this is a concern for you, you have to learn where you will position yourself. You have to prepare for the worst possible scenario, which is not having kids. But you also have to ask your spouse whether he is willing to take medications and exhaust all efforts to treat infertility.

Space

You will not only bring yourselves to the marriage. You will also carry your personality, your behaviors, your baggage, and your hobbies. How much space are you going to give each other after marriage?

When it comes to interests, are you still allowed to do these things? Will I need to stop drinking with my friends? Should I keep all my arts and crafts in a box after marriage, or are you going to give me a room in the house for it? Can I still go camping and be out of the house for days?

You must agree on these things before you get married. You should talk about the amount of space that you both are voluntarily giving your future spouse.

Handling the Chores

This can be a funny matter to discuss for couples who are going into marriage. But if you have been married for a number of years, you will know that the root of most petty quarrels come from not doing your chores at home.

Really? Yes. Some couples don’t speak with each other for days because they feel that they are carrying all the load at home and not having the help that they need.

It is all about taking turns. Some days, you cook. Other days, you clean the house. You can create a schedule if you want to avoid miscommunication. It is better to talk about it now to have an initial agreement on how to handle it.

Secrets

How many secrets do I need to reveal to my future spouse? If it is possible, you must admit all your secrets to your spouse. This is just to start fresh in the relationship. You are also showing your totality as a person. If he does not like an aspect of who you are, he can choose not to get married to you. This is preferable to him, forcing himself into marriage with a doubt in his mind.

But if you are not ready yet to tell all your secrets to your partner, you should at least reveal those that can hurt the relationship. Think about it for a couple of days and be ready to share it with him. You should also be prepared for the worst just in case he decides not to pursue the marriage.

Future Plans

The security of marriage is based on planning. Once you get married, you are not only plotting the path for yourself but also for your spouse. You must hear his future plans and where you are positioned. Plans change over time, but at least for today, you should know that he has a plan after the wedding.

You must also show your own plans during your marriage. This can be about your career, the number of kids to have, plans for your family members, plans to go abroad, travel plans, and others. This topic is not a deal-breaker, but if you require your partner to have a plan for the marriage, you will definitely have a long discussion about it.

Conclusion

Create your checklist of these must-discuss topics, whether your wedding is coming or you are just thinking about getting married. It is better to be prepared than to have this discussion during the marriage.

For the negotiables, you have to give yourself space to reach a point to just agree with your future spouse. For the non-negotiables, if your partner gives a concrete answer and you do not agree with it, it is best to just walk away from the relationship. You are going to leave not just the person, but also a lot of future heartbreaks, pains, and misunderstandings.

Share and Spread the Love

Follow Us

  • Bloglovin
  • E-mail
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Tumblr

About Shout Me Crunch

Shout Me Crunch provides the latest technology news and views. We also provide the tech guide by video review or Step by step tutorial.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Scan Me

My QR Contact

QR Code App

Categories

  • Affiliate Marketing (30)
  • Android Apps (24)
  • Apple (9)
    • iPhone (5)
    • Mac (1)
  • Automotive (45)
  • Computer Tips and Tricks (43)
  • Cupon (11)
  • Education (43)
  • Fashion (15)
  • Festival (8)
  • Freelancing (28)
  • Games (12)
  • Graphic Design (10)
  • Health (129)
  • Home & Garden Decor (50)
  • Hosting (17)
  • Human Development (51)
  • Job (5)
  • Natural Resources (6)
  • Online Games (2)
  • Programming (12)
  • Quotes (4)
  • Result (21)
  • Review (30)
  • Security (15)
  • SEO (56)
    • WordPress (12)
  • Smart Technology (48)
  • Smartphone (8)
    • Xiaomi (1)
  • Travel (21)
  • Uncategorized (8)
  • Webmastering (12)

Recent Posts

  • Six Important Questions Asked by Young Entrepreneurs
  • 6 Powerful Benefits of Inclusive Employment Practices
  • How Anti-Fatigue Mats Can Benefit Your Business
  • Boost Your Keyword Game: Most Reliable Keyword Planner
  • Utilizing Technology for Screening Candidates When Hiring

About Shout Me Crunch

Shout Me Crunch provides articles about technology and day to day living materials like automotive, interior designing, business model, human development, online gaming, etc.

Footer

DMCA.com Protection Status

Legal Pages

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Disclaimer
  • Contact

Contribute Us

  • External links policy
  • Guest Post Instructions
  • Partnerships
  • Shortcode Button Sample
  • Write For Us

Copyright © 2021

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.

CookieDurationDescription
__cfduid1 monthThe cookie is used by cdn services like CloudFare to identify individual clients behind a shared IP address and apply security settings on a per-client basis. It does not correspond to any user ID in the web application and does not store any personally identifiable information.
cookielawinfo-checbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement1 yearThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Advertisement".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.

Functional

Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.

CookieDurationDescription
na_id1 year 1 monthThis cookie is set by Addthis.com to enable sharing of links on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter
na_rn1 monthThis cookie is used to recognize the visitor upon re-entry. This cookie allows to collect information on user behaviour and allows sharing function provided by Addthis.com
na_sc_e1 monthThis cookie is used to recognize the visitor upon re-entry. This cookie allows to collect information on user behaviour and allows sharing function provided by Addthis.com
na_sr1 monthThis cookie is set by Addthis.com. This cookie is used for sharing of links on social media platforms.
na_srp1 minuteThis cookie is used to recognize the visitor upon re-entry. This cookie allows to collect information on user behaviour and allows sharing function provided by Addthis.com
na_tc1 year 1 monthThis cookie is set by the provider Addthis. This cookie is used for social media sharing tracking service.
ouid1 year 1 monthThe cookie is set by Addthis which enables the content of the website to be shared across different networking and social sharing websites.

Performance

Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.

CookieDurationDescription
d3 monthsThis cookie tracks anonymous information on how visitors use the website.
YSCsessionThis cookies is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos.

Analytics

Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.

CookieDurationDescription
__gads1 year 24 daysThis cookie is set by Google and stored under the name dounleclick.com. This cookie is used to track how many times users see a particular advert which helps in measuring the success of the campaign and calculate the revenue generated by the campaign. These cookies can only be read from the domain that it is set on so it will not track any data while browsing through another sites.
_ga2 yearsThis cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to calculate visitor, session, campaign data and keep track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookies store information anonymously and assign a randomly generated number to identify unique visitors.
_gid1 dayThis cookie is installed by Google Analytics. The cookie is used to store information of how visitors use a website and helps in creating an analytics report of how the wbsite is doing. The data collected including the number visitors, the source where they have come from, and the pages viisted in an anonymous form.
ad-id8 months 15 daysProvided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content
APID1 yearThis cookie is used to store information of how a user behaves on multiple websites. This information is them used to customize the relevant ads to be displayed to the users.
SSCVER1 year 24 daysThe domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. The cookie is used for online advertising by creating user profile based on their preferences.

Advertisement

Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.

CookieDurationDescription
_fbp3 monthsThis cookie is set by Facebook to deliver advertisement when they are on Facebook or a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising after visiting this website.
_kuid_5 months 27 daysThe cookie is set by Krux Digital under the domain krxd.net. The cookie stores a unique ID to identify a returning user for the purpose of targeted advertising.
ab1 yearThis domain of this cookie is owned by agkn. The cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes.
ad-privacy5 years 2 months 13 daysProvided by amazon-adsystem.com for tracking user actions on other websites to provide targeted content to the users.
APIDTS1 dayThis cookie is set by the provider Yahoo.com. This coookie is used to collect data on visitor preference and behaviour on website inorder to serve them with relevant content and advertisement.
ATN2 yearsThe cookie is set by atdmt.com. The cookies stores data about the user behavior on multiple websites. The data is then used to serve relevant advertisements to the users on the website.
audience1 yearThe domain of this cookie is owned by Spotxchange. This cookie is used for targeting and advertising.
B1 yearThis Cookie is used by Yahoo to provide ads, contents or analytics.
cc1 monthThe domain of this cookie is owned by Magnetic. It is used for targeting and advertising.
CMID1 yearThe cookie is set by CasaleMedia. The cookie is used to collect information about the usage behavior for targeted advertising.
CMPRO3 monthsThis cookie is set by Casalemedia and is used for targeted advertisement purposes.
CMPS3 monthsThis cookie is set by Casalemedia and is used for targeted advertisement purposes.
CMRUM31 yearThis cookie is set by Casalemedia and is used for targeted advertisement purposes.
CMST1 dayThe cookie is set by CasaleMedia. The cookie is used to collect information about the usage behavior for targeted advertising.
DSID1 hourThis cookie is setup by doubleclick.net. This cookie is used by Google to make advertising more engaging to users and are stored under doubleclick.net. It contains an encrypted unique ID.
flashtalkingad12 yearsThis cookie is set by the provider flashtalking.com. This cookie is used for storing what ads the user has seen. This cookie helps to improve the advertising on third party websites.
fr3 monthsThe cookie is set by Facebook to show relevant advertisments to the users and measure and improve the advertisements. The cookie also tracks the behavior of the user across the web on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin.
id1 year 1 monthThe main purpose of this cookie is targeting and advertising. It is used to create a profile of the user's interest and to show relevant ads on their site. This Cookie is set by DoubleClick which is owned by Google.
IDE1 year 24 daysUsed by Google DoubleClick and stores information about how the user uses the website and any other advertisement before visiting the website. This is used to present users with ads that are relevant to them according to the user profile.
IDSYNC1 yearThis cookie is used for advertising purposes.
IMRID1 year 24 daysThe domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising.
KADUSERCOOKIE3 monthsThe cookie is set by pubmatic.com for identifying the visitors' website or device from which they visit PubMatic's partners' website.
KTPCACOOKIE1 dayThis cookie is set by pubmatic.com for the purpose of checking if third-party cookies are enabled on the user's website.
mc1 year 1 monthThis cookie is associated with Quantserve to track anonymously how a user interact with the website.
mdata1 year 1 monthThe domain of this cookie is owned by Media Innovation group. This cookie registers a unique ID used to identify a visitor on their revisit inorder to serve them targeted ads.
NID6 monthsThis cookie is used to a profile based on user's interest and display personalized ads to the users.
ov1 year 1 monthThis cookie is set by the provider mookie1.com. This cookie is used for serving the user with relevant content and advertisement.
pxrc2 monthsThe purpose of the cookie is to identify a visitor to serve relevant advertisement.
rlas31 yearThe cookie is set by rlcdn.com. The cookie is used to serve relevant ads to the visitor as well as limit the time the visitor sees an and also measure the effectiveness of the campaign.
TDCPM1 yearThe cookie is set by CloudFare service to store a unique ID to identify a returning users device which then is used for targeted advertising.
TDID1 yearThe cookie is set by CloudFare service to store a unique ID to identify a returning users device which then is used for targeted advertising.
test_cookie15 minutesThis cookie is set by doubleclick.net. The purpose of the cookie is to determine if the user's browser supports cookies.
uid1 year 1 monthThis cookie is used to measure the number and behavior of the visitors to the website anonymously. The data includes the number of visits, average duration of the visit on the website, pages visited, etc. for the purpose of better understanding user preferences for targeted advertisments.
uuid3 monthsTo optimize ad relevance by collecting visitor data from multiple websites such as what pages have been loaded.
uuid23 monthsThis cookies is set by AppNexus. The cookies stores information that helps in distinguishing between devices and browsers. This information us used to select advertisements served by the platform and assess the performance of the advertisement and attribute payment for those advertisements.
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE5 months 27 daysThis cookie is set by Youtube. Used to track the information of the embedded YouTube videos on a website.

Others

Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.

CookieDurationDescription
__aasiNo description
__aastNo description
__aavi2 yearsNo description
__aavt2 yearsNo description
_D9J1 yearNo description
_ga_1HMXPZ1PW52 yearsNo description
A31 yearNo description
anj3 monthsNo description
CONSENT16 years 9 months 24 days 6 hoursNo description
FCCDCF12 hoursNo description
gadsTestsessionNo description
GoogleAdServingTestsessionNo description
i1 yearThe purpose of the cookie is not known yet.
key_auth01 dayNo description
u1 yearThe purpose of this cookie is targeting and marketing.The domain of this cookie is related with a company called Bombora in USA.

SAVE & ACCEPT
Powered by